Learning from life
Counselling in Twickenham
Long before I became a counsellor or therapist, I learned about otherhuman beings through my work, travels and experiences around the world.I have been an explorer, anthropologist, teacher, youth worker andone-time finance officer at Kew Gardens. But I think I'd have to go wayback to my childhood to understand where this journey began. As acounsellor, I cannot reveal too much about myself, because it would getin the way of my relationship with clients. But I can share some of myexperiences here to give you some insight into what I have learned fromlife to help me in my career as a counsellor at Counselling InTwickenham (also counsellors Whitton area).
To some extent I need to remain an impartial observer, and take aneutral position I so that my clients do not get too involved and feelfree to focus on their own affairs. In some senses it is important toremain a blank screen, when we begin individual therapy so that clientscan feel safe enough to bring any issue and not feel judged. However, Ialso feel it is valuable for clients to get some sense of who I am andthe experiences that have shaped me as a therapist. After all therelationship between us will need to be based on mutual trust andrespect. And for a client to know they will feel comfortable workingwith me.
Mostly, I suspect clients want to be understood. For this reason isis essential to have enough life experience to appreciate a client'sstruggles at work, in school, with their families, children andpartners. Equally, it may be an important part of the process forclients to know their counsellors are able to challenge them and thechoices they make. It may be sufficient to know that I too have had myconflicts and that I do not try to represent myself as the finishedarticle. I am able to make mistakes as much as the next man or woman.And despite my qualifications I can be down-to-earth and communicate in away which is easy to understand.
It is my journey that has brought me here. As a child, one of my mostpowerful memories is sitting entranced and staring wide-eyed at anAtlas, with various world maps, images of wild creatures, local peopleand historic buildings situated in the around the globe. I also recallsome old black and white photos of people in far flung regions,performing local rituals and customs in an old 1930s Encyclopedia. I wasalso fascinated by the stories of Dr. Livingstone searching for thesource of the Nile, the plant hunters at Kew Gardens, Scott of theAntarctic, Darwin's voyages in the Beagle and the conquest of the Aztecsby Cortes in South America. Not that identified with their lust forpower or to dominate others. It was more an endless source offascination, curiosity and a longing to belong somewhere else. As achild I remember feeling a bit of an outsider myself being from adifferent culture, as well as wanting to fit in when I needed to, like asocial Chameleon. I dreamed about growing up as an adventurertravelling to distant lands, eating exotic food, and participating instrange rituals.
I loved films like Jungle Book, The of Snows of Kilimanjaro andTarzan of the Apes. I had a special affinity with the wilderness. So Iused to sit for hours tracking with my tiny index finger across the map,replaying these images in my head of exotic locations, ancientmonuments, hidden jungles and lost civilisations. For me it was a worldof awe and wonder. A retreat from the mundane reality of everyday life. Ialso felt a special affinity with people who were lost and woundedsouls themselves. I often remember wanting to heal the wounds of others,while sensing my own. You might call it empathy, but like most humanbeings I also remember causing distress and pain to others. As well asfinding myself in conflict with others and needing to find resolution.
For me life was a constant process of rupture and repair. Lookingback, despite my troubles, I was also aware of the desire to be better.Occasionally, I found support in teachers, friends, mentors andinspirational elders like my grandfather. These people will probablynever know how much impact they had on me, probably because for them itmeant very little. But they are the people who I have internalised as myguides. I carry them with me for consolation, challenge and guidance.The thing is, without knowing it, I have always sought out people Iwished to learn from; as well as having an abiding sense of motivationto share my stories and experiences with others. The most interestingthing I learned was how so many 'ordinary people' had led suchextraordinary lives, even when they weren't aware of it.
In New Guinea I lived in the Trobriands and studied the infamousisland sorcerers. I was also present for the Yam festivals and the massslaughter of pigs for the feasts which took place over many days. Iattended the mortuary feast of a chief from a central village onKiriwina. And when I travelled to the mainland I witnessed spiritseancés in the men's longhouses that took place between the spiritmediums and those who were possessed by ancestral spirits. I witnessedsongs and beautifully choreographed dances by men dressed in masks, bodypaint and head-dresses made out of bird of paradise feathers. It was areally awe-inspiring, but also quite dangerous, as ceremonies couldoften erupt into disputes and violence between rival clans.
At the turn of the millennium I travelled to Brazil and found myselfwork as a senior coordinator of a language school. I also travelledaround that vast country during my breaks and participated in therituals and festivities of an old slave religion known as Candomblé. Itwas part of a spiritual revival among African Brazilians which includedspirit possession, initiation ceremonies, spirit surgery and animalsacrifice. I was in my element. I now focus on my practice atCounselling In Twickenham, where I also offer clients nearby whenlooking for counsellors Hounslow areas. Counselling is offered to a widediversity of clients from different social backgrounds, genders, agesand cultures.
I offer individual counselling and psychotherapy in Twickenham areas.If you live in Twickenham, Whitton, Hounslow or Isleworth pleaseconsider contacting me as a counsellor for your initial consultation.